Monthly Archives: February 2011

Portrait With Gold

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Painted over and elder painting with a straggly brush.

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Mr. Garbage & Tie Fighters

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Here we are, Pestulon, and ScumSoft. Outside you see a bunch of blue shirts, ScumSoft employees.

Use the Arnoid’s invisibility belt to sneak inside.

Here I almost got jell-ofied. What’s that? Oh, when any employee of ScumSoft detects you doing something you shouldn’t, they send down a little robot that drowns you in a tub of lime jell-o.

So walk around in the round hallway, a place where it is very easy to bump into walls, and enter a door to the left.

You find yourself in… Guess… A janitor’s closet. You certainly have a sixth sense about this kind of thing.

Rummage around for… something and you find some janitor overalls. They’re grimy I might add.

What a great idea, Roger! No one would be suspicious of a janitor walking around. You grab the coveralls and pull them on (seizing the opportune to dump all of the old items you’ve been pocketing along the way). What a great disguise! Wait… what’s this?

You reach down into the pocket of the grimy coveralls and find… well, what do you know, Mr. Garbage! A trash vaporizer. You’ve seen these babies in all the janitorial supply catalogs but your superiors were always too cheap to outfit you with one.

Nooo!! Not my orat on a stick! D:

Oh well, continue on to the cell blocks to vaporize some garbage. Note that if you skip garbage you pass, you will be jell-ofied.

Attention Attention: We have a very special birthday today! Our founder Mr. Pug has just turned 14; so stop by and give Elmo a big ol’ hug.

I’d rather not, he’s kinda greasy. I’d rather kiss Fester.

Attention everyone: Mr. Pug has just announced that Sunday will be a half-day!

Yippee?

And then I realize, there are only two screen areas here. How is that possible?

On a third screen the workers are being whipped. How violent.

To the right is Elmo, and I can’t hug him. But the announcement-…! Whatever…

Outside your ship is surrounded by tie skull fighters. Getting out will be tricky.

Go back, since jumping off wouldn’t help you, and you see that Elmo has left. A keycard lies on the desk. Snag it.

I try to sit in the comfy chair.

Hardly and appropriate action for a janitor.

>:|

At some point you get to a copy machine, and a picture of Elmo is hanging on the wall nearby.

Copy the picture and be wise to hang the picture back onto the wall.

Copy butt/dick/ass/fart/face/hand.

Get real

Unfortunately it doesn’t respond to boobs or moobs. :P

Get back to the hallway going round and ’round and use the keycard along with the picture to gain access.

Inside are the Two Guys encased in lime jell-o. Push the button to gain a bridge, and then use Mr. Garbage to save them.

But uh oh, suddenly you are surrounded by ScumSoft employees and Elmo. Sounds like you need to fight in the arena, whatever that is.

Duke Nukem Robots Dukem Nukem Robots is the name of the game.

At first I don’t listen so I don’t get the punch instructions so I almost immediately die. Great.

And again the next time. FFFUUU…

On the eight try, I finally win. What a bitch! Astro Chicken was way easier.

So you flee Pestulon, along with the Two Guys.

In space you get attacked by the tie skull fighters. Shoot shoot shoot, and use the shield on the correct side to defend yourself from enemy fire.

After a few tries I make it and they give up. But the light speed is non-functional.

It seems like there will be no burgers for you.

But wait-! One of the guys fixes the light speed and zoom you go.

But wait-! (Again) You have no control over the course, and into a black hole you go! Aaaaaaaaaahhh!!!

Surprise surprise! You enter a parallel dimension, and land on Earth of all places!

The Two Guys get hired at Sierra. (Lol.) But do Sierra need a janitor?

No.

Tough. So Roger gets back into the Aluminum Mallard, turns on the light speed and zoom off to the unknown!

End of the game! With some kick ass music! :D

Total Death Count: 18
Points Count: 728 (Not a full score D:)

The Lonely Refinery Taste – Charleston Chew

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I had some spare change over when I was shopping for milk. So I visited the “Food of the World” shelf.

Charleston Chew. The packaging looks old, which probably means one of two things.

  1. It has a name, therefore it can keep an old looking style of it.
  2. It is old, real old, which means I probably shouldn’t be eating it.

What’s this? “Try Frozen!” Okay…

The piece in the paper I put in the freezer for a while and the other I tried directly.

It tastes like Milk Duds. Milk Duds in bar form.

The piece that was frozen is frozen as shit. It’s hard as a rock, biting at it is like biting on a rock. I’m afraid I’ll bust my dang teeth!

Why would you want to put it in the freezer, when the only thing that changes about it is that it becomes much harder to eat?!

Final Verdict

It’s Milk Duds. Plain and simple. But don’t put in the freezer, unless you want to risk loosing some teeth.

Yellow Light Bathrooms In Copenhagen

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Whenever I visit Copenhagen, which up until now always have been by train, I always take the time to visit one particular set of bathrooms. These bathrooms have yellow lights in the stalls. I have no idea why… maybe it’s to spot jizz stains? But that’s the blue UV…

Nevermind, here’s some thumbnails of me in there, making fun faces. :D