Category Archives: Space Quest Series

Making Burgers


Not real ones, virtual.

I must say I suck at working at Monolith Burger. How are you supposed to get 70 buckazoids? And I finished a game called Burger Shop, where you make burgers – also in space. Inanely hard towards the end, yes.

But the zombie in the beginning is creepy. Fun & great so far.

Am I drifting in thought?

Now I want to play Burger Shop 2, and eat a burger.

Mr. Garbage & Tie Fighters


Here we are, Pestulon, and ScumSoft. Outside you see a bunch of blue shirts, ScumSoft employees.

Use the Arnoid’s invisibility belt to sneak inside.

Here I almost got jell-ofied. What’s that? Oh, when any employee of ScumSoft detects you doing something you shouldn’t, they send down a little robot that drowns you in a tub of lime jell-o.

So walk around in the round hallway, a place where it is very easy to bump into walls, and enter a door to the left.

You find yourself in… Guess… A janitor’s closet. You certainly have a sixth sense about this kind of thing.

Rummage around for… something and you find some janitor overalls. They’re grimy I might add.

What a great idea, Roger! No one would be suspicious of a janitor walking around. You grab the coveralls and pull them on (seizing the opportune to dump all of the old items you’ve been pocketing along the way). What a great disguise! Wait… what’s this?

You reach down into the pocket of the grimy coveralls and find… well, what do you know, Mr. Garbage! A trash vaporizer. You’ve seen these babies in all the janitorial supply catalogs but your superiors were always too cheap to outfit you with one.

Nooo!! Not my orat on a stick! D:

Oh well, continue on to the cell blocks to vaporize some garbage. Note that if you skip garbage you pass, you will be jell-ofied.

Attention Attention: We have a very special birthday today! Our founder Mr. Pug has just turned 14; so stop by and give Elmo a big ol’ hug.

I’d rather not, he’s kinda greasy. I’d rather kiss Fester.

Attention everyone: Mr. Pug has just announced that Sunday will be a half-day!


And then I realize, there are only two screen areas here. How is that possible?

On a third screen the workers are being whipped. How violent.

To the right is Elmo, and I can’t hug him. But the announcement-…! Whatever…

Outside your ship is surrounded by tie skull fighters. Getting out will be tricky.

Go back, since jumping off wouldn’t help you, and you see that Elmo has left. A keycard lies on the desk. Snag it.

I try to sit in the comfy chair.

Hardly and appropriate action for a janitor.


At some point you get to a copy machine, and a picture of Elmo is hanging on the wall nearby.

Copy the picture and be wise to hang the picture back onto the wall.

Copy butt/dick/ass/fart/face/hand.

Get real

Unfortunately it doesn’t respond to boobs or moobs. :P

Get back to the hallway going round and ’round and use the keycard along with the picture to gain access.

Inside are the Two Guys encased in lime jell-o. Push the button to gain a bridge, and then use Mr. Garbage to save them.

But uh oh, suddenly you are surrounded by ScumSoft employees and Elmo. Sounds like you need to fight in the arena, whatever that is.

Duke Nukem Robots Dukem Nukem Robots is the name of the game.

At first I don’t listen so I don’t get the punch instructions so I almost immediately die. Great.

And again the next time. FFFUUU…

On the eight try, I finally win. What a bitch! Astro Chicken was way easier.

So you flee Pestulon, along with the Two Guys.

In space you get attacked by the tie skull fighters. Shoot shoot shoot, and use the shield on the correct side to defend yourself from enemy fire.

After a few tries I make it and they give up. But the light speed is non-functional.

It seems like there will be no burgers for you.

But wait-! One of the guys fixes the light speed and zoom you go.

But wait-! (Again) You have no control over the course, and into a black hole you go! Aaaaaaaaaahhh!!!

Surprise surprise! You enter a parallel dimension, and land on Earth of all places!

The Two Guys get hired at Sierra. (Lol.) But do Sierra need a janitor?


Tough. So Roger gets back into the Aluminum Mallard, turns on the light speed and zoom off to the unknown!

End of the game! With some kick ass music! :D

Total Death Count: 18
Points Count: 728 (Not a full score D:)

Hawtness Of Ortega


Whenever I load up the game I always take the time to awe at the awesome theme song. :D

The only planet left to travel to, wow what an empty galaxy, is the hawt lava planet Ortega. Good thing I bought the ThermoWeave Underwear from the World O’ Wonders on Phleebut.

How does a pair of underwear keep your whole body cool anyway?

Whatever, it’s Space Quest, it doesn’t have to make total sense because it’s fun without much logic.

To the left is a way to pass over the lava, I would’ve made it over to see one part of the land sink but I fell down instead and promptly became fondue. Oops.

Try again and on the other side are two guys in blue. Take a look at them to see that they are from ScumSoft, the company that kidnapped the Two Guys from Andromeda!

Stand around for a bit and they leave in their space ship soon enough. Hmm. They left some fine equipment behind, morons.

Take a look in the telescope to see a shield generator. And the moon of Pestulon!

Since shields are serious shit in space, you need to take it out in order to get to Pestulon.

Grab the pole and a detonator. It’ll come in handy in time.

Walk a bit and you’ll arrive at the purple generator that is really easy to spot. Design flaw, no?

The hum it emits makes my ears go weird. It’s hard to explain.

For some reason, Roger moves really fast in this area. And I have normal on the speed setting.

At the top, after climbing the ladder I get to close and fall to my death. Nice.

Do over!

I die again. Sigh. I’m having trouble with the blasted words again.

At the third try, it goes boom. Now you can get to the moon! :D

But uh oh, the explosion has set off a chain reaction and you gotta get off the planet before it goes more boom!


The pole is used to pole vault yourself over the recent gap in the ground.

The Romanian judge gives you a 9.5! A truly outstanding jump by one of the finest young athletes we’ve seen this season. You’d like to try that again, but your pole seems to have fallen into the tumultuous lava below.

Get to the Aluminum Mallard and GTFO of Ortega.

Now to ScumSoft, and to save the Two Guys!

Total Death Count: 8
Points Count: 458

Struggling With Chickens & Eating Strange Things


I finally got the right sound! I chose AdLib Music Synthesizer Card. For graphics I chose EGA/VGA with RGB Monitor – 16 colors.

We arrive at Monolith Burger as the same time as the Enterprise leaves. Woot!

The place is swamped with all sorts of weird aliens. One looks like Jabba.

The pushy counter clerk has… let’s count… 10 noses. And the reason he’s pushy you’ll see when you order some food.

Would you like something to drink with that? Yes or Yes. And each time he asks you such a question his face becomes more and more zoomed in.


The thing you are supposed to get is a fun meal, because you want the fun meal prize. A decoder ring.

What are you supposed to use that for? Well, hop over to the Astro Chicken Arcade Machine and you’ll see.

Astro Chicken is hard. They weren’t kidding.

After struggling for a while, turning down the speed didn’t help much, the game takes pity on me and I’m given a secret message.

With the help of the decoder ring you can decipher the message. I won’t need to since I already know.

The two guys from Andromeda are being held captive at ScumSoft on the moon of Pestulon. And Roger is to save them!

But before we leave Monolith Burger, let’s buy some Big Belcher Combos.

The reward is revealed when you try to leave.

You can almost guess what’ll happen.

Total Death Count: 5 (not counting the many deaths in Astro Chicken)
Points Count: 378

Welcome To The World O’ Wonders!


Well on Phleebut, someone else lands shortly after you. It’s the Arnoid! *Insert Terminator joke here*

Since you’d probably not want him to get a hold of you, looking so intimidating with that speedo invisibility belt of his, run off ’til you see Godzilla in the distance.

I just have to add that the music here is very atmospheric and a bit creepy.

Go there to find the World O’ Wonders shop, run by Fester Blatz. He’s a Phleebhutinskis, the last one of his kind. According to the wiki, their babies grow in the parents’ noses until the fall out of their sheer weight or the parent sneeze hard enough.

He’s got all sorts of neat things but alas you have no buckazoids to spend.

Solve that problem by selling your glowing gem, which doesn’t glow anymore. Wth?

I’ll add that in there, the sound was horrible, I’ll have to change the sound setting before the next entry.

At the shop, there are post cards of different wacky locations. One card’s description catches my attention.

Beta Alpha Starless Region

Looking for some real solitude? Come to a place that’s so far from everything that you can’t even see stars. Mind-numbing boredom greets you as you drift aimlessly through nothing. A must for the brain-dead!

After buying everything you can buy; the Astro Chicken Flight Hat, the Orat on a Stick, the ThermoWeave Underwear, let’s try some immature sayings.

Kill Fester. (from the LP I might add)

You’ve come this far without resorting to crime; don’t start now.

Break case. (also from the LP)

Come on, don’t tear the place up!

Kiss Fester.

Not a real appealing thought.

I also can’t buy the cool skeleton because apparently nobody buys that stuff.

Don the hat (for extra points) and exit.

Uh oh, the Arnoid has caught up to you. And you lose the hat. :(

Remember the whistle from Space Quest 2? Roger never paid for it and with his indeterminate time floating through space the interest has upped the prize to 400 000 buckazoids.

Non-payment is a serious offense.

The Arnoid gives you ten slow seconds to escape and if you are caught you are toast. Or a wrung rag.

To be rid of him, you need to kill him. There are two choices; mangle by gears inside a giant Godzilla or eaten by space pods. I’ll go with the latter since it nets more points.

The pods aren’t that hard to find, to the right of an area with lots of rocks. How they look? Well…

For a brief moment, you could swear they were just a bunch of dancing raisins. But, a closer look indicates otherwise. The leech-like creatures appear to have connected themselves to this overhang with a gelatinous adhesive secretion. YUCK!

Now you just have to lure the Arnoid there, which is a bitch because he gets lost sometimes only to pop up at random to insta-kill you.

After some trial and error I finally lure the bastard beneath the pods and OM NOM NOM he’s scrap metal!

In the LP, it took a few attempts for LordKat to get Arnoid’s invisibility belt, but I got in on the first try.

This is all you have to do here, on Phleebut.

Our next destination, is to get some food. To Monolith Burger!

Total Death Count: 5
Points Count: 238

Y U No Put Gem In Mouth?


That’s only useful in Space Quest II.

It’s been a while, but here’s Space Quest III with your’s truly. Since I’ve seen the oh so wonderful LP of this game lots of times I think I can almost make it without the assistance of the Virtual Broom Closet.

To start things off, let’s type in some immature things. ;)

Something that doesn’t apply, like most stupid things

Pardon me. This program is too stupid to glean your desire from such a wonderfully crafted sentence. Please try something else.

Get naked.

I’ll get naked if you get naked. You go first.


Hey! Don’t be a baby

Shit your pants.

Hey! What kind of talk is that?

Take a dump.

Do me a favor and try rephrasing that thought.


Your utterance echoes about the metallic confines of the area. No answer is forthcoming.

Enough of that, for now. ;D

So with the third game you can have graphic and sound settings, as well as a mouse setting. I didn’t know what to choose at all, but I did choose the MT-32 for sound (this being the reason).

What should happen is beginning is that Roger’s chest would explode from that little green alien from the last game, but instead his pod gets picked up by a robot-controlled garbage freighter.

There are three things to get in order to escape.

  • The warp modulator, sitting right in front of you at the beginning. You use a claw machine over the meat grinder, get there by using the junk elevator. Pick it up and put it in the new ship, the Aluminum Mallard.
  • The reactor. Down a hole with some creepy rats looming over you. It’s by the far left wall.
  • The wires. Alongside the reactor they are.

There’s also the ladder, which you put in your pants (Ouch!), but you don’t get to keep it though.

Soon you also get burgled by the rats in the hole. And you just have to get them again.

So I think I’m about to get into the ship and leave this scrap hole when I slip on the roof and fall to my death. So I have to do things all over again, I forgot to save. D’Oh!

It’s one of the cheapest deaths, but also one of the funniest ones.

Once you get inside the ship be sure to install your components, the modulator doesn’t require installation.

And before you decide you shoot your way out, put up some front shields and face sudden decompression.

But wait, someone is hunting you. It’s Arnoid (try to guess the inspiration ;P )!

I’m off to Phleebut! :D

Total Death Count: 3
Points Count: 135

Space Quest II: Vohaul’s Revenge


This game was great. I really liked it.

Comparing it to the first game, it improved a bit in many departments.

The graphics; I could distinguish things more easier this time, it should’ve made the game easier but I died more than ever so… Maybe I’m just a noob when it comes to these kind of games. The light effects when crawling in the cave maze was excellent.

The sound; Still not as much music as I would like. Some sounds are stabbing my ears but most of the time it’s fine. In some areas, like the forest on Labion, the absence of background music actually enhances the atmosphere with the eyes creeping in the bushes.

The story; Longer, yes. You, Roger Wilco, is captured and brought to the man/alien/robot who was behind the evilness of the first game. Now, he reveals his evil plan to you and sends you off to work until your death. But you escape capture and find a way to flee the planet he sent you to. But alas, he finds out and drags you to his evil asteroid for a final showdown. You foil his plans, unplugs his life support and escape from an impending explosion. Now you drift through space in hope that someone will find your escape pod. I’d say that’s a classic, just told in a special way.

In my immaturity I had some very good laughs. Certain phrases aren’t shot down but met with comedy. That’s what I really like about these type of games.

I actually haven’t got a lot more to say. I don’t want to repeat what I said in my thoughts of the first game. I really enjoyed this game. Play this game.

Somewhere soon I’ll play the game which has an awesome LP, Space Quest 3.

The Final Stretch


Go south from the shuttle, after entering the door it suddenly seals shut! And walls rise up to the left and right. And the floor opens to a pool of acid! Oh noes!

Time to use that plunger!

Once a janitor, always a janitor.

See those grey things in the ceiling, those are sprinklers. Let’s activate them by lighting the toilet paper on fire in the wastebasket with the lighter. Vohaul probably uses robots since he’s a half robot himself (or cyborg if you want to get fancy).

No sound effect like I was hoping for, but the strategy worked. Pop goes the electric robots!

To the east you see the robots you fried. They look… very blue.

More east and you enter Vohaul’s sanctum. And you see the dreaded salesmen droids! Le gasp!

Walk up the stairs in hope of kicking his butt, but he acts first with his shrink ray and puts you in a glass jar.

Hmm… Didn’t we get a glass cutter earlier? Work the Bond magic to escape suffocation.

Walking along the computer console and SMUSH! Roger becomes windshield mosaic paste.

Now I gotta play from the acid part. FFFUUU.

Back to where I was, you have to climb into the vent which looks too small for you but apparently you can because you are ROGER WILCO!

In there is Vohaul’s life support. Time to pull the plug.

Climb out, Vohaul sees you and sends away the clone door-to-door salesmen. Use the keyboard to type enlarge. Roger Wilco can apparently jump like a mexican jumping bean, lol.

Normal size again, you see a bunch of screens and one of them is flashing. Look at it and you see the countdown for the clones. To stop it, you have to search Vohaul’s disgusting body for the code.

The code is scribbled on his hands. Um… why? Oh well, use the code to save the day, but wait-!

40 minutes ’til explosion! GET TO DA CHOPPA!

And I fall down and die. Oops.

Up the stairs and out to the tubes, it’d be wise to get a breather mask on the wall there, just sayin’.

After another screen you get your reason to wear the mask, the tubes break a bit.

Inside you hear an annoying alarm, another instance where loop would have helped.


You are somewhere.

Eventually you come upon Vohaul’s Marrow-Matic. It looks like the evil robot from Robocop. (“You have 5 seconds to comply”, and then BOOM!)

Here you have to be bloody fast, so I have to try again. :P

And apparently you die from the french kisser. Oops? I keep trying but I keep dying. Sigh…

By setting it to slow it becomes a bit easier, so once I get into the pod the robot ignores me. WTF.

But uh oh, your pod is running out of air. Climb into the sleep chamber to live. Let’s hope someone finds you.

It’s kinda like the end of Alien and Aliens. Roger goes to sleep in his pod, drifting in space uncertain if someone will ever find him.

But he is found. In Space Quest 3. But that’s for another time.

Total Death Count: 64
Points Count: 250 – Full Score! :D

Scouring The Asteroid For Items


Inside the asteroid there are surprisingly no guards.

I went left, to an elevator, which apparently doesn’t work like regular elevators (or maybe I’m just making things harder for myself).

I managed to get to level 3. With a janitor’s closet (suddenly you feel homesick) and a plunger.

Also, Vohaul, the nasty bastard, is watching you. Creepy.

On the fourth floor I find a bathroom. When I type in “pee”…

Your urge is more serious than that.

While knocking on the 3 occupied stalls I think one of them farted on me.

In the unoccupied stall I find some toilet paper. But I can’t take a shit.

Would you want your mother to hear you say that?

By the weird thing on the left I type “take dump”.

What are you, livestock? Be civilized. Try using a toilet.

Pffft… *Choked laughter*

After trying to wash my hands in the non-functional sinks, I look in the mirror.

Darn! Another pimple.

I feel with ya, Roger.

And yes, someone is farting in the stalls.

Let’s try to take another dump, on the toilet this time.

Have some decency, man! Close the door!

I close the door, and Roger can finally take a dump. Yay!

Moving on, in another room I find a glass cutter. Good for James Bonding, I suppose.

On level 5 there are prison cells. One with brown furry hands clasped around the bars. Better avoid that one.

In another cell there’s a big black alien thing, which kinda looks like the alien (or xenomorph if you want to get fancy). It caught me, and I thought I was dead.

But apparently it only gives you a grotesque french kiss and then leaves. Huh…

Go more west and you find another set of furry hands and a “push button” door. In there you find a wastebasket.

Aren’t you amazed by how much stuff an adventure game hero can carry? You’ve just got to know how to pack.

Then Link is a god when it comes to carrying lots of stuff, but personally I think he’s got a magic bag. I mean Iron Boots, an Iron Ball with a Chain, 60 Bombs, 60 Arrows, a Spinny Thing, a Magic Armor, a Zora Armor, 1000 rupees… the list goes on… What the heck…

But on to the matter on hand. Another thing on the floor is some overalls, but they suck so Roger throws them back. But wait… A lighter falls out. Yoink!

Hey! Wake up! There is no button “two”.

How am I supposed to know?

Total Death Count: 54
Points Count: 171

Whistle, Shuttle & Vohaul


Go east and we find the base of the hovercraft platform. But curses! It is blocked by a wall of rocks. Let’s blow the whistle, to see what happens.

A labion terror beast blasts through the wall of stone! And it’s small and blue. Smaller than Roger. Lame.

To keep him occupied, and to keep him from eating you, I chuck the cubix rube at him. He’ll have his hands full for a while.

I wonder how something round and short can make a somewhat rectangular hole in the stone. Oh well…

Like in the first game, you have to pick up a small rock which you’d never think about.

Use the rock with the athletic supporter (ew) to kill the guard (at least I think so, would you survive that?).

INSERT (no, use isn’t enough) the keycard to ride the elevator up to the top of the platform.

Up there is the shuttle you apparently arrived in. But I saw something leave the platform. Spider-Droid – White Edition?

Inside the shuttle you get a nice view of Roger’s face. He looks kinda like Frankenstein’s monster.

After struggling a bit with the shuttle’s controls (you have to set the ship to vertical, then horisontal) I leave the planet of Labion.

But uh oh, Vohaul knows where I am! He takes control of your shuttle and you are forced to travel to Vohaul’s asteroid.

Total Death Count: 54
Points Count: 166